Karma Chameleon

A week and a half ago I was engrossed in a conversation about karma and I can’t stop thinking about the affects karma on the average individual. Personally, I feel as though my karma is completely fucked. Yes, I said it. Without going into the dirty details I will indulge in some brief generalizations. In the last month I have: literally fallen over myself a handful of times, gotten my heel stuck in a crack in the parking garage, fallen out of my chair, walked out of a public restroom with my skirt tucked into my undies, went shopping at Albertson’s and forgot about the case of water under my basket, had a night out with someone who only talked about themselves (that is horrible, don’t argue with me on that) and became involved in a “friendship” that is so irritating it makes me want to punch babies in the face. (At this point I will add a disclaimer: I have never punched an infant that would be wrong. It’s a figure of speech get over it.)

It made me wonder if I had done something horrible in my past life that carried on into this one? And if that is the case, can I do enough good things in this life to make up for the faults in my history? What if I’ve been and plan on being an upstanding individual? If I follow the rules of the road, help old ladies across the street and always follow the cardinal rule of “puff, puff, give” will I be able to change my karma? I have decided to put this to the test. My first act was walking my happy ass back up to Albertson’s and standing in line again to pay for the water I forgot was in my cart. I’ve done other smaller things too: I mentally forgave someone who doesn’t deserve it, I’ve picked up other peoples trash (then immediately scrubbed my hands) and I have made sure I stay clear of cracks in the road. Step on a crack break your mother’s back. (Insert laughter here.)

All I have to say is, ‘God has one heck of a sense of humor.’

And now the song of the evening - Jack's Mannequin "I'm Ready"
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