Climb

The past few days have been filled with disappointment and joy. These two mixed feelings only lead to crazy thoughts and sleepless nights. I have been disappointed with my inability to do this diet. No, I am not in need of a major weight loss over-haul. I just want to lose a few pounds. Call it vanity if you will. I often speak of not being influenced by the world around us, but I often find myself swimming in a pool of insecurity.

Needless to say, the South Beach Diet has not been a success. I skipped part one, which cuts out all carbs. Leaving out these essential nutrients made me feel light-headed and my energy levels were at an all time low. I had never felt so badly in the morning (not even after a night of binge drinking). I added back in my carbs. A whole wheat cereal in the morning and a whole wheat sandwich at lunch. No extra sugar, no enriched flour just whole grain wheat. I've slowly begun putting back on the three pounds I lost even with 30 minutes of cardio everyday. I'm hoping this is just a temporary setback.

Yesterday Phil, Zoe & I took a trip out to Lake Berryessa. As we hiked down to our favorite spot we noticed there was at least one person down there already. Once we reached the beach we saw that there were 3 teenagers and a very large lab in our spot. They looked at us, we looked at them and then decided to hike out to another beach for some privacy. This is where it gets interesting. To get down to the other beach, we had to go backwards down a rope. The path was very steep, in fact, it was almost straight up and down. When we reached the bottom we set up our chairs and unleashed Zoe. She immediately dove in the water. That's when we saw it. One of the teenage boys swimming over to our beach. He noticed a rope swing and wanted to play on it. He floated under the rope trying to figure out a way to get on. He started to climb it like a mentally challenged monkey. Then he climbed the tree and tried to reach it with no avail. For his finale, he attempted to tie two branches together to make one long branch. No, it didn't work, but it did make me giggle. Refusing to give up, he calls his friend over. The friend quickly throws him the rope and he is off over the lake. Every time they went up the tree they climbed higher and higher in the hopes of doing something even dumber than the time before. After a half an hour of this, they called over the last remaining members of their group. Yes, we had encountered the rudest people on the lake. So we decided it was time to reclaim our spot.

The path we took down was not an option at this point. We couldn't make it with the chairs and dog in tow. There was only one way back up and it wasn't pretty. Zoe went first. Phil and I had to work with 2 chairs and a backpack. He went next. I trailed behind. The only way I could make it up this path was on all fours (not something I enjoy). I dug my hands into the loose rock and dirt to make it up. I had to occasionally throw the chair upwards only for it to slide back down on me. We made it halfway and the dog stopped and turned around as if to say, "You're fucking nuts if you think I'm going any further." Phil lost control of his chair and both he and the chair came flying down at me. He caught himself right before his shoe made contact with my face. He decided the only way we could make it was if Zoe was leashed at the top. So he left his chair and pushed her the rest of the way up and tied her to a tree. It was when he came back for me that things went even worse. As he climbed back down he lost his footing and slid past me taking the chair with him. I was petrified. The only thought in my mind was us both falling back, breaking our necks and not even having the dog to go get help (yah, too many episodes of Lassie). I did what any reasonable person would do. I climbed my ass up that hillside. Phil followed suit. Then he lost his gripping again! He slid down on his belly and quickly flipped over to his back. If there had been some water and a life guard you would have thought it was Wet N' Wild. I called out his name. No answer. Again. No answer. Finally, on the third try he responded with a gruff, "I'm fine." Once we both made it to the top we did quick inspections. Nothing broken. Lots of cuts (my hands looked like I had been playing with broken glass) and lots of splinters.

We made it to our spot. I wanted to kill the three kids. Why couldn't they have told us they were going to the other beach? A simple, "Hey we're going to the other beach if you want to stay here," would have sufficed. I guess it's Murphy's Law. You can't take a Monday and a Wednesday off to go to the lake in one week. Effing Murphy and his stupid law.

I'm excited because I am leaving for Maryland this coming Tuesday. A few days with my aunt and some other relatives and then a few days with my friend John. It'll be a party and a half. My aunt just told me that she hasn't even told my grandmother that I'm coming yet. Best get on that! The only downside to this is not looking the way I would like. I know that I am not going to turn into Sarah Jessica Parker overnight. It's just difficult getting there.

Being comfortable with yourself is so important. I know so many people who aren't. It can be extremely painful to look at yourself in the mirror when you can't enjoy the skin you're in. Vacationing often halts weight loss and exercise. This is an obstacle I have to overcome. I'm leaving for another trip in August and again, I want to be as fit as I can when I get there. Hopefully, I will find the support I need within myself and not from another fad diet.