It is what it is, or is it?

Life is often times tricky and cruel. Not at all what I was looking forward to as I was rushing through my adolescence. I find myself constantly looking for answers I am afraid I will never get. Here I am, pushing through an existence of mindless wandering.

I have been back “home” for roughly 9 months and what I have learned in my time here is that nothing is ever what it appears to be and no situation can be easily resolved by the feelings you have towards your life or the people in it. Because, let’s face it, feelings change, people change and ultimately lives change … which is how I ended up back here to begin with.

Don’t get me wrong, “here” is not so bad. It’s the inconsistency of here that I despise. “Here”, not just being this physical place, but the relative one that I have recently found myself floundering in. I can not recall how many times I have been told that “‘It’ is going to be okay.” “‘It’ isn’t the end of the world.” What people can’t tell me is what “it” is? What exactly is going to be okay? What isn’t the end of the world? If it truly is what it is, then what in God’s name is it?

Just today I received an e-mail; the subject line: Change Your Life Today; the sender: an unnamed diet website. If only the perfect recipe for low fat pesto chicken and pasta would “Change My Life” but I have the astute feeling that it may just possibly change my love of pesto to pure disdain and not my life. No I tried changing my life a few hundred times and never did it include a new recipe. Perhaps it should. Does someone hold the recipe to a healthy, happy, cynic free life? And if so, why hasn’t this miracle been bestowed amongst the rest of us?