How about them apples?

The countdown ensues. I have 11 days until the movers come and 17 days until I physically leave for the sunshine (otherwise known as plywood) state. I am excited and nervous and a little bit afraid of the oncoming weeks. It's hard to imagine such a drastic change in your life. Perhaps it will be fine and no one will be the wiser. Although I have the sinking suspicion that it is going to be the toughest thing I have had to do in my 26 years of existence. Many people have their own opinions as to what they think happened, but in truth, only two people know what is was exactly. You can only explain so much. Even with all of the explaining, you can never describe the feelings you have in the pit of your stomach. (I say, in your stomach, because that is where my heart currently resides.) It is an everyday reminder that these fluid emotions are travelers of the body and mind. And sometimes, we can not help where these nomads will dwell next. On a good day I will feel blessed to know that I have friends and family out there who support me and will hold my hand as my wounds heal. The bad days, on the other hand, are just that. On those days I feel empty, hollow. Those are the days where my mind will not rest and my heart feels as though it will stop beating. I know those days are temporary, but they still exist and they make me feel weak. I am not alone, yet I am lonely. Yes, the countdown ensues and I, the keeper of that time, am petrified.