That'll be about 15 minutes

There are very few things I hate more than waiting. Lately, I have been waiting for that return e-mail, for my last day of work, for this icky feeling in my throat to go away. I feel like I have been awaiting something my entire life. The sensation in your body is horrifying as you sit and wonder how long it is going to be. There are some things we know will eventually come. At some point my sore throat will diminish and I will ultimately reach my last day at the office. I don't know if the e-mail will come or if my message will be heard and reciprocated. Amongst my waiting, I often wonder how many people are biding for me. Am I missing some piece of a puzzle that will surface as long as I keep waiting? If we are all a part of this crazy mystery, will we ever be able to solve it without abiding each other or will we be forever lost in a sea of confusion?

As I walk through my own existence, I feel that without a certain amount of communication, I am lost in this world. I need to have the security of knowledge. This cognizance is what keeps my blood pumping through my veins. For me, information comes in all forms, and most often it creeps in through my modem and spills onto my computer screen. When I am taken away from this machine I cannot function normally. When my ability to access the world through my fingers is taken away I am delayed immediate access to what I need and what I want. I do not wish to linger in my sense of doubt. For that is what I ultimately feel when I am left to wait.

Why do we attend to each other as we do? Surely it would be easier to saunter through life on our own. The weights we place on each other are burdensome and unnecessary, but the fulfillment we gain from each other has no set value. People need each other; we thrive off of the energy each one of us holds. The waiting is all part of the mystery; that mystery keeps us alive and entertained. It is a struggle to feel held down by time and the decisions made in that time. The gift is the way we chose to handle the time in between the waiting. In the end, we are all waiting for something; why not let the moments that have been fulfilled over compensate the ones that have not.